Signs That You're a Drunk


 

-- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

-- You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.

-- Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.

-- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

-- You fall off the floor.

--That damn pink elephant followed you home again.

--You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.

--Your career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.